I'm weird. But as is obviously apparent weirdness falls on a spectrum. I'd like to think I'm more Manic Pixie Dream girl weird and less man in trench coat sitting on the bus making unsettling motions with his hands under his coat weird. But weird is weird and if I know one thing about the world it's that something that can seem benign to one person can seem devastatingly fucked up to another.
That being said, one of my weirdnesses is that I am thirty years old and I love toys.
“Big deal”, you say, "so you're a man child like every other guy these days.” Well . . . first off Mr. Straw-man I'm not man. I'm a woman who loves toys. And second of all, if you are the kind of person who needs stands and shelves and lights and the term “action figure” to feel good about what you spend your money on then I probably have nothing in common with you.
I love toys unabashedly. Yet, I am not a collector. Baby dolls creep me out. Keeping things in boxes creeps me out. Elitism creeps me out in general. I have strong opinions about toys and most of the stereotypes that people think of when they think of an adult who likes toys go against my beliefs.
Toys are meant to be played with. They are meant to be dragged in dirt, and hugged, and colored on and just in general loved. I guess for long period of my life I kept waiting for that magical day when I would no longer want to play, or specifically, play with toys. It never happened! And the older I have become the more I realize that everyone still plays as an adult. Everyone (almost) still has the desire. Every creative endeavor is nothing if not playing. Sure, you might not hold up your barbie dolls and make them talk to each other anymore but if you've ever written something with characters in it you re pretty much doing the same thing.
So what toys do I have? What do I like to play with still? Ha! That is for me to know and for you to undoubtedly find out in the future. All I will say right now is that I really like fashion dolls and that is the bulk of my collection right now. I got rid of the Legos I had recently due to the enormous amount of space they took up. I have a set of O.G. Lincoln Logs that I built some towers with recently (to my husband's amusement). Mostly I have focused my energies on the one thing I like the most because of storage issues. But yes, I own both a slinky and a set of chattering teeth as well as several boss ass Matchbox cars and a sad but much loved collection of stuffed animals (they live in a bag in the closet though- I can't deal with their accusing stares re: abandonment issues).
Ultimately it's my love of toys that has brought me to this point today, which is that of being the kind of person who pulls over to get things from piles of stuff marked “free” on the side of the road. Or in this specific case, me wildly making my husband put our car in reverse and back quickly up to the pile because I thought I saw a dollhouse.
I did, I did! Oh, a dollhouse. The aching need left over from a childhood wish gone unfulfilled And yet, knowing what I know now as an adult about dollhouses (IE that they re crazy expensive) I harbor no ill will for this oversight. Especially now that I am the proud of owner of a crappy abandoned doll house that someone left on the side of the road in a pile of plastic green and red tinsel decorations!
My newest project: The Dollhouse!
Bask in it's incompetent splendor! Here is my hypothesis. This was a kit that a well-meaning person bought an over-privileged child. Someone, and this is the part that legit frustrates me, then said: “Here small child, is a bottle of wood glue. Go fucking CRAZY ON THIS BITCH.” And crazy they did go.
This picture is simply an example of the glue based carnage that was inflicted upon this, no doubt, expensive doll house kit. There are glue drips cascading out of every joint. This is why I have to assume (dear god please) that a small child was allowed to do this project alone or with minimum supervision. Because also I have to imagine that, much like walking and talking, there is an age milestone that children reach when they realize that gravity exists and if you slop glue all over something it will drip everywhere and look horrible when dried. Which brings me to my next point, a reiteration of my first: I really really hope an adult did not put this together. The thought of that makes me sad. Because it is not even close to being correct.
See that gap there on the right? That should probably not be there. Nor should the gaps between that walls on every other side. The whole house is filled with gaps and wonky angles, things not aligned properly. If a child did this, forgivable. Kind of- kids need supervision people! They need guidance! GAH. Ok. What is to be done?
Well first off all the glue drips as seen here must be sanded off. I plan to do that first. Then, like the gaps here show, some structural work must be done. Some pieces (like the top tower things*) might be able to be removed and re-positioned. The top floor in this three story house is hugely messed up but looks kind of cool so I think I might turn it into an atrium and leave the open sides alone.
In the first of these two picture in the back you can see that part of the floor is missing. I'll figure that problem out next. Then in the next pic there are a bunch of random shapes wood glued to the floor that need to be removed. I assume when the child finally gave up on this project (which boy howdy did they ever give up**) they glued those pieces in to at least resemble some furniture to make it slightly usable before it ultimately ended up in the garage for what appears to be many years. I can respect that attempt but those pieces need to be pried up now.
This is the retro box that the other sad pieces came in- broken stairs, a ladder, and several pieces of wood and plastic windows (the latter of which I won't be using). Once the inside is fixed and the outside is spiffed up I will begin the next phase of the project. Do I want to make this dollhouse into a free spirited Phoebe-esque bubbles and bean bag type doll crash pad or a Monica-like Victorian paradise, full of tiny handcrafted furniture? Paint, carpet, real glass windows, these are things I envision on this journey.
As an artist and as a lover of toys I'm excited about this project. The possibilities are endless and the adventure full of many obstacles and milestones. I hope you will join me as I document this process of remodeling my new (tiny) home and discuss toys, art, and creativity at the same time. I guess all that's for me to do now is roll up my tiny sleeves and get to some tiny work!
* I am not an architect
**I don't blame the kid for this. I blame their parents and all parents who would agree with the statement “kids should be creative and be exposed to arts and crafts” but not the statement “I try to do arts and crafts projects with my kids”. Plus, the wastefulness of it also bothers me.